Dallas and St. Louis sports fans will need either two TVs or keen remote control reflexes today, as their Cowboys and Rams kick off in the JerryDome just a few hours before the first pitch of the Rangers and Cardinals in Game Four of the World Series in the Ballpark in Arlington. For those of us without a vested interest, maybe we should let the quality of uniforms decide how we root.
4. Rams – as I covered in my throwbacks piece earlier this week I abhor the metallic gold.
3. Rangers – they wear the same royal blue-and-red as the NHL’s Rangers, but somehow it just doesn’t work as well. I usually ascribe to the ‘less is more’ theory, but Texas looks just kinda… blah.
2. Cowboys – they need to dump the shiny pants, the overly-bright blue numbering, and embrace the subtler Staubach Era look.
1. Cardinals – whether it’s their crisp and clean home whites or on the road in their navy hats with red trim, the Cards are the best of this quartet. Especially if the Rangers put Tony Romo in to pitch to Albert Pujols.
AFC UNIFORM MATCHUP OF THE WEEK: Chiefs at Raiders
On an otherwise bland sartorial day for the NFL, our eyeballs are treated to yet another glorious AFL showdown. The players inside the getups may be bitter rivals, but the ever-striking silver-and-black of the Raiders and the Chiefs’ bold, bright red pants and hats make beautiful music together. Matter of fact, you can pencil this one down as a finalist for the Best Uniform Matchup in the all the NFL.
NFC UNIFORM MATCHUP OF THE WEEK: Packers at Vikings
In spite of the game being played in the wretched, climate-controlled dome, we’ve also got a nice old-school NFC Central clash… thanks to the simpler, better, gray-facemasked Vikings uniforms.
SUPER BOWL REDUX OF THE WEEK: Steelers at Cardinals
Déjà vu for everyone who watched Santonio Holmes break Kurt Warner’s heart in Super Bowl XLIII as the white-jerseyed Steelers pay a visit to the Valley of the Sun. Unfortunately for the two teams, there’ll be no James Harrison, Casey Hampton, Kurt Warner or Anquan Boldin in those jerseys today.
Now, we turn our gaze to the college ranks…
ACC UNIFORM MATCHUP OF THE WEEK: UNC at Clemson
I always approve of the two-toned blue Heels, and likewise enjoy the distinctive orange of the Tigers… but would like this matchup even better if Clemson went all in with the orange pants.
SEC UNIFORM MATCHUP OF THE WEEK: Tennessee at Alabama
Two teams, two colors. To put that into perspective, that’s seven fewer colors than you’ll find in Maryland’s hideous getups. In college football, it don’t get no better than ‘Bama’s numbered hats.
PAC-12 UNIFORM MATCHUP OF THE WEEK: Oregon at Colorado
Nice move by the Buffs to go back to the Eric Bieniemy Era unis, and among the eight dozen combos the Ducks could sport, the all-white version is at the top of the list. Come to think of it, they kinda resemble Joaquin Phoenix when he gets the shiv from Russell Crowe at the end of ‘Gladiator’.
Are you not amused by that comparison, Phil Knight? On behalf of everyone with an appreciation for good football uniforms, all I can say is… right back at ya, Mr. Nike.
Late addition to this week’s Uniform Monitor: Tulsa’s helmets. Two letters say it all: P and U. I’m not sure if I should thank Larry Brown for bringing these to my attention, or punch him in the neck.