Uniform Monitor: Let’s SEC who is best

(Associated Press/US Presswire)

Like anyone else, December means only one thing to me: Egg nog. After that, though, this month has become the season for complaining about the BCS. For the record, I’m not sure whether it oughta be Oklahoma State or Stanford who gets to play LSU for the title –- but I’m absolutely positive it shouldn’t be a team who already lost to the Hat’s fellas at home. But that’s coming from a purely football perspective.

When it comes to uniforms, the Southeastern Conference rules college football without question. So while others debate the validity of the BCS, today I’ll use this space to rank the best of the best. It’s time to figure out who’s got the number one uniform in the SEC.

SEC UNIFORM STANDINGS
(‘x’ denotes division winner; the number indicates the team’s overall rank in the conference)

EAST
X – GEORGIA
Like the Packers, only with a better color scheme
5. TENNESSEE
I like these, but the Vols are hurt by the fact that Texas does orange and white better.
7. FLORIDA
Get back to the orange pants, wouldya, Gators?
8. KENTUCKY
Hard to screw up the monochromatic look.
10. VANDERBILT
Another good uniform victimized the conference’s high caliber of getups.
11. SOUTH CAROLINA
They barely edge Mississippi State by a logo.

WEST
X – ALABAMA
The numbers on the hats make ‘Bama’s uniforms beyond reproach
3. AUBURN
Would be the best uni in some conferences, but they don’t even the title game in the SEC
4. LSU
Love the tradition of wearing white at home, but that purple jersey looks better.
6. OLE MISS
Good in the red, white or navy blue jerseys.
9. TEXAS A&M
Bringing more maroon coming to the SEC in 2012.
12. MISSISSIPI ST
Marooner.
13. ARKANSAS
Maroonist.

2011 SEC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME: Alabama vs. Georgia

The Dawgs’ red, black and gray is almost paralleled anywhere in the nation. Unfortunately, they’re in the same conference as the Tide.

NFL UNIFORM MATCHUP OF THE WEEK: None

Sorry, but I can’t in good conscience pay homage to any pro team this week. Not when the Redskins could’ve paired handsomely with the Jets if they’d worn their gold pants… but inexplicably opted for the white. Not when the Chiefs could’ve worn their red pants against the Bears… but inexplicably opted for their white. If you NFL teams plan to continue disregarding my advice, you leave me no choice but to slight you all. Believe me, it pains me to not give the award this week, but my integrity and respect for my position as Uniform Monitor prevent me from doing so.

THE “IT’S CHRISTMAS TIME, NOT EASTER” CONFUSING UNI MATCHUP OF THE WEEK: Panthers at Bucs

Is it early December or late April? Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing the Bucs’ creamsicle getups (if only for nostalgia’s sake), but maybe they should’ve saved ‘em for a game against a team that isn’t wearing eggshell blue. As it is, the color matchup evokes the flowery dresses and hats at the Kentucky Derby more than a football game in December.

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