The Shek List: on K.C., T.O., Movie Redundacies, & more

(Associated Press)

Q: If preseason games are so essential, how come college teams don’t even play one?

While you contemplate that one, here’s some other hooey & applesauce…

  • As you may have heard, the defending AFC West champion Broncos made a change at quarterback in the off-season. Contrary to popular opinion, this does not mean Denver is guaranteed back-to-back division crowns. In fact, I have it on good authority all three other teams intend to displace the Broncos. If my math’s correct, though, only one of ‘em can possibly be right… and that team is the Kansas City Chiefs. They’ve got the best defense in the division, and – as I’ve said before and I’ll say again here – their offense is so loaded, it’s downright Cassel-proof.
  • Sports has had a number of noteworthy trios comprised of guys playing the same position for different teams. In the ‘50s, New York had centerfielders Mantle, Mays, & Snider. In the ‘90s, the American League had shortstops Jeter, A-Rod, & Nomar. In 2004, the NFL Draft had quarterbacks Eli, Rivers, & Roethlisberger. And in the 21st century, the NFL has – or more accurately, had – T.O., Chad, & Randy. Yes, with T.O. and Chad both having already been kicked to the curb, and Randy having zero preseason catches, the Era of the Unholy Trinity of Diva Receivers appears at an end. Take a moment and pour out a little popcorn, wouldya?
  • Don’t get too low about the demise of the diva wideouts. In Kenny Britt, Dez Bryant, and Jon Baldwin, we’re sitting on a potential powder keg of prima donnas.
  • Congratulations to Kirk Cousins, the latest Michigan State alum to win a clipboard-holding gig in the NFL. He joins the proud tradition of backups which includes Brian Hoyer, Drew Stanton, Jeff Smoker, Tony Banks, and Earl Morrall. One tweak, if I may: ‘Spartans’ sounds too much like ‘Startins’ – seems like they’re making a cruel, ironic joke at their own expense. How ‘bout something more befitting, like the Michigan State Headsets?
  • After the Dodgers’ blockbuster/Red Sox’ salary dump over the weekend, L.A. is – fittingly – the home to more star athletes than any other sportstown in the world. (I’d list ‘em all here, but doing so would turn this relatively short piece into a 10,000-word epic.) What makes it such an upset is the fact that the closest pro football team is 120 miles away.
  • Back to that Chiefs’ offense for a sec: Dwayne Bowe is (capable of being) one of the more dynamic passcatchers in the AFC. Jamaal Charles & Peyton Hillis look like an updated version of the Bucs’ Dunn & Alstott. The line oughta be strong with the addition of Eric Winston on the right side. And let’s not ignore Dexter McCluster, Tony Moeaki, and Steve Breaston. But of all the weapons they’ve got, the guy who’s gonna be the biggest difference maker is the aforementioned 2011 first-rounder & puncher of a high-profile teammate, Jon Baldwin.  Here me now, believe me later: he’s gonna dominate this season.
  • If you’re keeping score, I’ve now determined the Chiefs will win the West, the Bengals will win the North, and the Titans will get a wildcard. That means we’ve only got three spots left for the AFC post-season. In other words, AFC teams, the train is leaving the station. Run. Get on it. (Except you, Jags – you aren’t going anywhere.)
  • Much obliged for the feedback on Twitter from listeners of the podcast I do a couple times a week with Adam Rank, Handsome Hank, and the rest of the gang on the Dave Dameshek Football Program. Few weeks back on the show, I referred to Kevin Spacey being the subject of a police sketch artists in both ‘Seven’ and ‘Usual Suspects’ as the greatest redundancy in movie history. (For the record, Keanu Reeves was a close second for twice playing a former Ohio State quarterback – in ‘Point Break’ and ‘The Replacements’.) Upon further review, though, there are some candidates I missed in this category, including:

‪@brinckey7 ‬‬Nicolas Cage finds out who really killed Kennedy in The Rock and National Treasure 2
@tinyhuman‬ Helen Hunt has sex with a paraplegic man in “The Waterdance” and “The Sessions”
‏‪    @Logankeepes89‬‬‬ William Daniels played John Adams in 1776’; then John Adams son John Quincy in a ‘Woman For The Ages’; In ‘Boy Meets World’ he played Mr. Feeney, a teacher at John Adams High School.

  • That last one’s gotta be the winner, right? Thanks, @Logankeepes89. Figuring these things out is why we do the show.
  • Anybody know where I can get those sketches of Spacey? I’d love to hang them side-by-side in my home.
  • Sketches of Spacey = great name for a band
  • Twitter Follow of the Week: @Kurt_Vonnegut – shame on you if you’re not following one of the 21st century’s greatest authors. Even if Twitter had been around back in the 16th century, you think a fancypants like Shakespeare could’ve made a point in 140 characters or fewer? Alas, methinks not.

In closing, lemme be the first to wish you good luck with the Saints. It’s just a matter of time ‘til you get a call to be their next interim coach.

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