Spoiler Alert: Week 14 Final Scores

Coach Killer Chad Henne finally did it: after playing a significant role in getting his college coach Lloyd Carr and his first NFL coach Tony Sparano the boot, his 12-of-27, 127-yd performance on Thursday night was just enough to get the coach of the other team fired.

But who really won that Houston/Jacksonville stinkfest?  The Jaguars, who put another scratch mark in the win column – their fourth in five games – or the Texans, who now have the leg up (or down?) on 2013’s other bottomfeeders in the race for next spring’s first overall pick?

I’m not suggesting Gus Bradley should’ve tanked the game… and it’d be a moot idea, anyway. By the nature of the respective sports, it’s much tougher to intentionally lose a football game than, say, a basketball or baseball game.  Be that as it may, I’d rather be a Texans fan than a Jags fan today.

At 4-9, there’s growing cause to believe Bradley pocketed a little of his old boss Pete Carroll’s pixie dust before making the move to northeastern Florida.  Matter of fact, if the Jags had just one more win right now, they’d be legitimately in the race for the AFC’s second wildcard.  As it is, though, the team still lacks the long-term answer at quarterback… and here in the so-called Quarterback League, that’s not good.  In fact, it’s a killer.

By Valentine’s Day, the Texans will have a shiny new head coach.  By Memorial Day, they’ll have a face-of-the-franchise, high-pedigree QB fresh off glad-handing with Commish Goodell on the stage of Radio City Music Hall.  By Labor Day, the Jags may or may not have settled their training-camp battle for first-string signalcaller between some combination of Chad Henne, Blaine Gabbert, Mike Vick and Mark Sanchez.  Speaking of whom, a quarterback drafted high in the first round does not guarantee success for the team that took him.  Then again, not having a capable QB does guarantee mediocrity… or worse.

On Thursday night, the Texans guaranteed themselves a shot at an above-average player at the most important position in sports.  The Jags guaranteed good vibes in their locker room… at least until Week 17, when they’ll look across the sideline at Colts’ main-man-for-the-next-decade Andrew Luck and wonder when – or if – they’ll ever get the essential piece of every contending team.

Meantime, Luck & Co have a tough one coming up in Cincy this Sunday.  Let’s get to that and the rest of Week 14’s remaining games.

spoiler-alert

Warning: do NOT continue reading if you don’t want to know the scores.

(0-1 this week, 12-4 last week, 125-70 on the season)

COLTS 23

BENGALS 31

G. Bernard: 152 yds/scrimmage, 2 TDs

FALCONS 23

PACKERS 24

E. Lacy: 128 yds, TD

[Note: for more on the NFC North race, click here]

VIKES 13

RAVENS 14

J. Jones: 72-yd punt return TD

The Color Purple: 1-1

BROWNS 14

PATS 20

R. Gronkowski: 91 yds, TD

RAIDERS 19

JETS 12

M. McGloin: 211 yds, TD

LIONS 49

EAGLES 44

C. Johnson/R. Bush/D. Jackson/L. McCoy: 12 combined TDs

DOLPHINS 17

STEELERS 16

MIA D: six sacks

M. Tomlin: 0 blocks

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BILLS 26

BUCS 21

C. Spiller: 64-yd TD run

CHIEFS 28

SKINS 10

J. Charles: 131 yds, TD

TITANS 20

BRONCOS 30

M. Ball: 82 yds, TD

RAMS 9

CARDS 21

K. Clemens: 3 INTs

GIANTS 24

CHARGERS 31

P. Rivers: 340 yds, 3 TDs

SEAHAWKS 21

NINERS 17

M. Lynch: 103 yds, TD

PANTHERS 20

SAINTS 16

J. Stewart: 98 yds, TD

COWBOYS 33

BEARS 26

D. Murray: 117 yds, 2 TDs

Enjoy the games, everybody!  I hope your team wins (unless they’re playing my team).

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