Author Archives: Adam Rank

Month with the toughest sounding name

1. March
2. October
3. August
4. December
5. (vacant)

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Shame Report: Wild Card Weekend

This week, the white hot light shines on Tim Tebow’s most recent victim, as well as the Colts’ QB downfall and Mike Smith’s obsession with going for it on fourth down.

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Shame Report: Week 17

It’s Week 17, and Dave shines the white-hot light of shame on those who need it most.

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N ‘if’ L: What if ‘The Catch’ never happened?

It’s another installment of the N “if” L, as Dave takes a look at what would have happened if “The Catch” never happened.

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Shame Report: Week 13

One of the Shame Report’s favorites is back, as Dave Dameshek takes on Brett Favre and his rumored return and Cowboys coaches Jason Garrett for icing his own kicker and Rob Ryan for his hair.

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When your fantasy team is a Bond film

(AP Photo/Joel Ryan)

I’ve cycled through my running backs like a producer goes through Bond girls. And the worst part: There isn’t an Ursula Andress or Barbara Bach in the bunch. Instead, it’s a bunch of Denise Richards and Lynn-Holly Johnsons. (And for the record, “For Your Eyes Only” is the worst Bond film ever.)

I’m just one Jill St. John away from competing.

Oh, before we begin, here’s a welcome to the newest Bond girls for the latest film, “Skyfall:” Naomi Harris (awesome) and French actress Bernice Marlohe.

With that out of the way, I’m offering you my likes and dislikes for the coming fantasy week and more. That’s right, Facebook won’t give you a dislike button, but I certainly will. And this all will be presented to you in a random, meandering style, which has been glowingly referred to as “teenager on crack chic.” Bolded names are my likes and dislikes. (MORE)

– Rank

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Welcome to Shekland.com

When we launched this blog page a month or two ago, the goal was to make it a place for the fans, by the fans. With that in mind, today marks the impromptu debut of Shekland.com, a place where the work of young scribes can be read. Here’s some real good Week 9 analysis from Alex Vigderman, an up-and-comer currently matriculating at UPenn. Good stuff, fella!

Here’s the link.

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We have a winner in the Rodgers’ snappy comeback contest

Much obliged to everyone for the terrific responses (and spirited debate – it boggles my mind that some of you don’t consider Favre’s comments insulting, but I digress) to our question, “How should Rodgers fire back at the Ol’ Gunslinger?”

After careful consideration, the winner for best response is Travis Bateman from Saint Catharines, Ontario. That’s right, America: you lost to a Canadian.

Congratulations, Travis, you’ll be receiving a copy of Jonah Keri’s fantastic book about the Tampa Bay Rays, “The Extra 2%”.

In honor of #8 Aaron Rodgers, I’m listing my eight favorite submissions.

Special acknowledgment to Andrew Anaki Lucas of Westfield State, for his suggestion that Rodgers send Favre a text with a Super Bowl ring around… well, you know… but of course, the NFL is family friendly. We don’t reward that sort of filth. It does, however, make us laugh.

* Travis Bateman • Saint Catharines, Ontario
“I didn’t hear Brett’s comments, they must have been intercepted before they got to me”.

Ilana Hettleman
“I was surprised Favre didn’t retire sooner.”

Sean Heimbuch • Menominee, Michigan
“I sure hope I get as many opportunities to choke in championship games as Brett did”.

Griffin Haymes
“I have 6 letters that end this argument: XLV MVP”

Stephen Waterman • Lowell, Massachusetts
“I want to thank Brett for his kind words, and remind him again, that there is no need to congratulate me via text.”

Patrick Broe • London, United Kingdom
“The only number four green bay will remember is the 4 rings I’m going to bring”.

Kim Boisen • Aalborghus Gymnasium
Rodgers should wear a torn up pair of Wranglers around his waist, to wipe his hands on before each snap – and his only comment should be “Thank you Brett, for the very useful things you’ve shown me”

Alex Reardon • Normal, Illinois
“Aaron, did you hear the comments made by Brett Favre?” Rodgers – “Who?”

Thanks again to all who submitted. Check back soon for our next exciting contest…

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Hanging with Tie Domi

Much to my chagrin, I have to admit that Tie Domi — my former Patrick Division arch nemesis — was an exceptionally nice fella when he paid a visit to ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’. Pictured here with me, Cousin Sal and infamous ne’er-do-well Randy, Tie shared tales about his days of standing drinks with Mark Wahlberg and Mike Tyson in Manhattan’s China Club back in the early ’90s. He also talked about his close friendship with the greatest player in the history of puck, Mario Lemieux… a relationship that prevented me from dropping the gloves for a round of fisticuffs.

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Best Jolly Rancher flavors (for the week of 9/26)

5. Strawberry
4. Watermelon
3. Peach
2. Cherry
1. Green apple
Last: Grape.

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