Sunday! Sunday! Sunday! Coming to stadiums around Football America… backups, backups, and more backups! Reclamation projects signed at a discount! Plucky everymen with courageous hearts and weak arms! Passers who weren’t good enough to start the season ahead of Blaine Gabbert! Yes, if you like mediocre QBin’, you’re gonna love NFL Week 12!
Out of the 13 games coming up on Sunday, ten backup quarterbacks will start. Where are Don Strock, Mike Kruczek and “The Throwin’ Somoan” Jack Thompson when we need ‘em?
The Steelers make the short drive across the OH/PA border to face the Browns’ backup’s backup, while Josh Freeman’s short-term backup Mike Glennon is under center for the Bucs in Detroit.
…But that ain’t nuthin’. Four of this weekend’s games pit second-stringers against one another. Four games, no starting QBs!
In Houston, it’s Chad Henne versus Case Keenum. In an NFL game. Not a preseason one. One that counts.
Think that’s bad? The Bears’ playoff hopes ride on Josh McCown’s right arm, which may or may not have been made stronger by all those clipboard curls. The good news (for the Bears): the Rams are starting Kellen Clemens… who once got cut by the Jets because Mark Sanchez and Grandpa Mark Brunell were just too dang good.
In Oakland, it’s a duel between two guys named Ryan and Matt. Doesn’t exactly harken Mad Max v Master Blaster in Thunderdome, eh?
Christian Ponder – the season-opening starter who became Matt Cassel’s backup before he became Josh Freeman’s backup – is starting for the Vikes in Lambeau against Seneca Wallace’s backup, Scott Tolzien, while America’s Backup, Matt Flynn, looks on from the sideline… until he gets in, of course.
Let’s get to the scores…
Do NOT continue reading if you don’t want to know the outcome of Week 12’s games.
(1-0 this week, 7-8 last week, 104-58 on the season)
L. Bell: 78 yds, TD
E. Reed: INT
Ravens D: 3 INTs
Carolina D: 6 sacks
R. Bush: 162 yds/scrimmage, TD
J. Charles: 128 yds, TD
M. Crosby: 38-yd FG
C. Keenum: 270 yds, TD
W. Marshall: 52-yd fumble return TD
K. Wright: 103 yds, TD
D. Bryant: 144 yds, 2 TDs
V. Davis: 41-yd INT TD
Gronkowski: 109 yds, 2 TDs
Kaepernick: 312 yds, 3 TDs
Enjoy Week 12, everybody! I hope your team wins (unless they’re playing my team)…